


Victims of a Delusion

by somedayisours



Series: Fanfiction.net Can Suck My— [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Boy-Who-Lived Neville Longbottom, Canon Relationships, Character Death, Dark Harry, Death Eater Harry Potter, F/F, F/M, Gen, Harry Potter Has a Sibling, Implied Relationships, Implied/Referenced Torture, James Potter Lives, Lily Evans Potter Lives, M/M, Minor James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Minor Regulus Black/Bartemius Crouch Jr., Misgendering, Murder, Non-Canon Relationship, Past Harry Potter/Ginny Weasley, Past Relationship(s), Past Sirius Black/Remus Lupin, Regulus Black Lives, Trans Male Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-02
Updated: 2019-04-02
Packaged: 2020-01-01 05:02:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,358
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18329138
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/somedayisours/pseuds/somedayisours
Summary: "Everything was wrong, it was as if her whole world had fallen apart."





	Victims of a Delusion

**Author's Note:**

> The title is from **Diary of a Drug Fiend** by Aleister Crowley.  
> " _I've often thought that there isn't any 'I' at all; that we are simply the means of expression of something else; that when we think we are ourselves, we are simply the victims of a delusion._ "

Harry Potter was a boy who came upon a crossroads. It was only when he turned sixteen did he decide, descending into the darkness with only a matchbook to light his way. With the mark burned onto his arm, and secrets on his lips did his work.

He stood his wand gripped tightly in his hand as he stared at the elderly man.

"Harry, my boy, you don't have to do this."

The Headmaster had never looked more his age than he did at that moment, it hurt to witness such raw vulnerability.

"No," the boy assured, "That's where you're wrong."

Neville couldn't move, he couldn't scream, all he could do was watch as the Headmaster fell from the tower. As Harry Potter fled with his Death Eater comrades in tow.

When Neville retold the story in the Hospital Wing, with most of the Order gathered around Sirius Black's bed, the silence was deafening, the Potter couple shocked still. How could their son do that? And then came the rage, the pointed fingers, and accusations.

•

Sharon sat numbly in her chair, the brother she had grown up with was no better than a stranger to her now. A murderer. What had she missed, when had she become so distant that she couldn't recognize her own blood?

"Where the fuck is Snivellus!"

She couldn't even summon the overwhelming feeling of embarrassment that usually accompanied her father's actions. The professor in question had long since departed, she'd watched him sweep out of the Hospital Wing after speaking in hushed tones with Madam Pomfrey. He wasn't present for any of the allegations that her enraged father brought against him. Not that it mattered.

She could hear Mum attempting to calm Da, a fruitless effort if Sharon knew anything about her family.

"Remus?"

She closed her eyes against the tears, reaching out to take her injured uncle's hand in her own. "No. Uncle Sirius, it's me, Sharon."

He groaned, eyes fluttering open only to close once again.

"Sharon? What happened?"

She didn't know what to say to that.

"Sharon?" His hand squeezed her own in reassurance.

"You dueled Bellatrix," she swallowed past the dryness of her mouth and the lump in her throat. "The Death Eaters escaped."

She couldn't mention Harry, couldn't even think about Uncle Remus, and couldn't tell Sirius how her hands wouldn't stop shaking and that it wasn't just because of what Bellatrix did.

"She was—you—"

He remembered, she realized.

"I'm okay, Uncle Sirius," that had to have been the most obvious lie she'd ever tell. "Really."

"Come, Sweetie," her mother coaxed with a firm hand resting on her back, "We're leaving."

"But Uncle Sirius—"

"You'll see him again, later. It isn't safe for us here. We have to go."

"Go with your mother, Sharon."

•

Returning home without Harry was wrong, leaving Uncle Sirius alone like that was wrong. Everything was wrong, it was as if her whole world had fallen apart. Like a puzzle with the wrong pieces forced together because the person putting it together didn't have the patience to do things correctly.

Her head throbbed painfully, she'd have ugly purple bruises on her arms and legs by now. Her nerves still felt as if they were set alight, muscles twitching uncomfortably against her will. Maybe she should have said something to Madam Pomfrey.

•

Sharon would have spent the rest of the summer sweating profusely under the sun while practicing every spell she could as a distraction from the empty bedroom next to hers if not for the arrival of the wedding invitation. The eldest Weasley boy—Bill her mother reminded her father when he couldn't recall the man's name—that she'd only encountered a handful of times and the French girl who'd participated in the Triwizard Tournament were getting married. Instead, she got to spend weeks leading up to the event split between listening to her parents argue over what would be happening to her this upcoming school term and visiting Uncle Sirius.

She didn't mind spending time with him, it was a nice reprieve from the stifling environment Godric's Hollow had become with recent events, but she could only take so much of Uncle Remus' absence, even if she had to do was go out back and visit him anytime she wanted. A grave wasn't the same.

Summer was blissfully short by the time the wedding came around.

•

"I'm coming with you."

The look Neville gave her in response was just short of rude, a mixture of incredulous and patronizing. "No."

Ron had the decency to look guilty about it, glancing at Neville to see if he was going to continue before deciding to speak himself.

"I'm sorry Sharon, really, but you know..."

The rejection should have felt like a slap across the face, her brother's actions dictating people's opinions of her loyalties, of her morals. But it didn't, her whole life had been shaped and guided by the choices of those around her, why would now be any different?

"Fine."

The wedding generously supplied the illusion of hope, letting people think that maybe things would be all right after all. But that soft fantasy only lasted a handful of hours, easily swallowed up by the night and banished by early morning light. It felt like a wasted effort. It was a wasted effort.

•

She heard of the Golden Trio's disappearance second-hand, eavesdropping on the concerned conversation between her Mum and Uncle Sirius. That wasn't all they discussed, Uncle Sirius didn't think it safe for her to go back to Hogwarts either but was less forceful about it than her Da had been, only sighing when Mum raised the argument that Professor Snape wouldn't allow her to be harmed.

"I want to go."

"She'll go," Uncle Sirius relented, his dark eyes shining with what looked like pride, "I'll talk with James about it, Lily."

•

It was harder than she expected, biding her parent's goodbye early so she could be escorted to the platform by Auror Nieves. The train ride was tense but uneventful until the fourth year Slytherin Aubrey Flint shuffled into the compartment she shared with Ginny Luna, and Moon halfway through their journey.

"I've been here the whole time."

Ginny snorted, leaning forward with bared teeth, "No, you haven't."

The younger girl didn't bat an eye at the rebuttal, simply turning to gaze out into the corridor for whoever she was hiding from.

Moon coughed, breaking the uncomfortable silence. "Yeah, she has."

"Lily—"

"It's Moon, Weasley," He snapped coldly, "The Flints are blood traitors as much as you are. Or did you not hear what happened over the summer."

That shut her up, Luna leaning forward to pat Ginny's knee sympathetically.

None of them spoke again for the rest of the train ride, Flint slipping out and disappearing into the crowd before the rest of the compartments occupants could gather up their things.

Ginny and Luna made a quick getaway not long after, leaving only Sharon with Moon as the only male in their group packed up his things.

"What happened over the summer, with the Flints that is?"

He hesitated for a moment, looking out the compartment window as he spoke instead of turning to face her. "Her older brother killed Lestrange."

Sharon's heart jumped in her chest, "Bellatrix?"

Moon let out a bark of bitter laughter, stuffing the last of his books away into his trunk. "No, Rabastan. Last I heard Rodolphus was chasing Marcus across the country trying to get revenge."

"Oh. Did you pick a name?"

The hard line of Moon's shoulders slumped in relief at the change in topics.

"Yeah, I did. I'm not telling you. I don't want them knowing."

Neither of them dared to speak any further on either topic in the carriages or as they march in silent rows up to the castle. But Sharon can't stop thinking that maybe Moon knew more than he was letting on.

•

Her suspicions were partially confirmed when she found Audrey and Moon embracing one another in a third-floor broom closet, red-faced with shame after having been caught. She didn't dare to comment on it any further than a casual "You and Flint, huh." She'd been seeking off with Ginny in between classes, she would really rather not have Moon bringing up that she was dating her older brother's ex-girlfriend.

•

"Are you being purposefully dense, Miss Weasley?"

The embarrassed flush of Ginny's cheeks wasn't enough to stir anything beyond the same low-level apprehension she'd held close to her chest since Harry's betrayal, Professor—Head Master—Snape was being lenient. He'd been easy on them from the very start of term, she'd dare to say even softer with his punishments than he'd been in Potions class just a couple of months before.

"No, Head Master," she found herself responding in place Ginny, "Ginny's been worried about her grades..."

That excuse was a crock of shit, all three of them knew that but it was obvious he was giving Ginny an opening for an excuse he would pretend was logical and give her a free pass for, but Ginny was too much of a Gryffindor to recognize it for what it was and take it.

"Thank you, Miss Potter..." He drawled, eye's flicking to her from Ginny only briefly. "But I was speaking to Miss Weasley. Unless she has received trauma to her head recently that disables her any more than she was before, she can answer for herself."

"Head Master—"

"You are excused Miss Potter, I'm sure you can see yourself out."

The corridors back to Ravenclaw tower were empty, she only encountered a bruised Susan and delirious Seamus on the way. Thankfully.

•

She didn't learn of Ginny's three weeks worth of detention until they gathered in the Room of Requirement the next night, she'd be serving it with Filtch instead of the Carrows, luckily. Susan and Janice seemed to share her sentiment even if Ginny didn't.

Seamus was still quarantined to the Hospital Wing, safe in the only other place the Carrows didn't set foot. Moon had detention with the Carrows until they said any different, but refused to spend the rest of his days hidden in the Room of Requirement like many of the other half-bloods had chosen to. Sharon was included in the next stupid gambit her girlfriend tried, Head Master Snape couldn't protect her, Ginny, and Seamus after trying to steal Gryffindor's sword. So they served their time with a Carrows until The-Boy-Who-Lived was within Hogwarts walls.

•

The arrival of Neville brought no relief, maybe short term joy, but that drained from all of them just as quickly as it swept in. They had a battle on their hands, confirmed as much with the arrival of what Order members could be gathered with such short notice. Uncle Sirius stood with his brother among them, grim-faced but he still caught her when she flung herself into his arms without hesitating.

She made sure to ignore him when he told her to evacuate with the younger students, she couldn't afford to abandon anyone else she loved. Sharon didn't hesitate to step between Ginny and Bellatrix, even if she spent nearly every night reliving that first attack. And when the walls exploded around them, saving her from the signature green curse that would have left her nothing more than a cooling body she knew she couldn't go much longer. Bellatrix was better, more experienced, and they were alone.

•

Using the woman's own favourite spell had to be some form of justice.

She thought of Bellatrix's laugh, of the pain that gathered in every pore of her skin, of her ears ringing with the sounds of her own screams. She could taste the blood in her mouth from where she'd bitten her tongue, the rage-inducing pain that flared so fast and so hot it made her scared of herself, but only after it had faded. This time it was not her own screams ringing in her ears.

She didn't dare leave her there, even if Bellatrix deserved it, Sharon wasn't a monster. She'd met Uncle Sirius' brother, she'd seen the man that he visited in St. Mungo's that was once Barty Crouch Jr. She could never live with herself if she left someone like that. She used the severing charm they were taught in second year. The spray of arterial blood made no difference amongst the carnage that was the Hogwarts hallways.

But the sight of her brother's robbed figure sweeping over the grass cast any further thoughts from her mind.

•

"Nagini."

His voice was less of a command and more of a drawl, even now celebrating his own victory.

There was an interrupted cry, a thump of old creaking wood, and then the familiar hiss of Parseltongue that she only recognized because she'd heard Neville use before. She strained her ears, listening until the footsteps faded and all she could hear was her own furiously beating heart and the gurgling sound like a baby would make with spit in its mouth. She finally crawled from the hiding spot when she was sure the He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named wasn't coming back.

"Sharon?"

She'd never seen that much blood before, she didn't think people lived after losing that much. It was a dark smear on the bleached walls behind him, it ran down his chest and pooled on the ground around his slumped form, there were even droplets of it from when it sprayed from his neck.

"I..."

Sharon choked on her words, pushing herself closer to cover the mangled hole that had been his neck. He didn't even flinch when her hand touched the exposed wound when the blood spurted and carved trails onto her hand where it leaked between her fingers and ran down her arm.

"Aye, I'm here."

His lips curled up in a mockery of a smile at her words and he made an aborted gesture with his hand. Or at least she refused to see the stunted movement as an indication to the extent of his weakened state. A choice instead of a limit.

"Sorry," He slurred around the pink saliva bubbling up between his lips. "'m sorry..."

**Author's Note:**

> Diffindo is the severing charm that Sharon uses on Bellatrix, I actually guessed right on its name and that it is first taught in second-year charms classes. I was surprised when I looked it up and didn't need to edit anything. In my notes, it says that Snape disarmed Harry sometime after the boy killed Dumbledore, but the exclusion of that fact leaves the ending up to interpretation.


End file.
